Tuesday, 21 October 2014

October update

So the good news is that I've started losing, I've lost 3 weeks in a row so far and it all seems to be going well.  The bad news is that after I posted the last blog entry 6 weeks ago, I put on another 2 kilograms.  Currently I weigh 80.3 kilograms, a whopping 14.3 kilograms above goal weight.  As referred to in my last post, the antidepressant I'm currently on is causing me to eat more.  Even now as I am losing I have days where I spend quite a bit on food.  That's a bit of a financial worry, not too much but I don't want to waste money.  Nor do I want to gain weight.

I've gone back to the doctor for a repeat prescription of mirtazapine.  I'm pretty sure that it's not going to do any good, but I really want to give it a proper go before stopping.  In total it'll be 6 months of use, any change in mood is bound to have been discovered by then.  I'm just over halfway.

Not much to say apart from that.  The whole gain was totally unexpected, I've never had weight gain as a side effect before, I'm hoping no other medicine I ever take will have the same reaction.

I'm starting to wonder how I'll handle maintenance.  I'm totally sick and tired of dieting.  I just want to get to goal weight, weigh myself daily or every few days, and go for a monthly average of 66 kilograms.  What can I do to make myself still want (good enough) to stay at 66?

Currently, I don't have any useful answers.  I thought of having a container where I put $1 per day into it, a reminder of my struggles and a little ritual for me to say to myself "keep maintaining Mannie".  That's as good as I can get so far, when I hit $1,000 or so I'll do something with the money, who knows.  Also I've decided to not buy any clothing until I'm at goal.  The exception being clothing that I need (ie for job interviews etc) or when I've only got one of something, and it needs to be replaced.  I guess that could work.

Anyway, it'll be at least 3-4 months until I reach goal weight probably.  I was aiming for my birthday (mid February) but have since calculated that it's pretty much impossible.  More on that later.