On Sunday at work I had an annoying conversation with the woman who sits next to me. I think it started with me asking her how much she thought a young man who also worked there what his age was. Later on in the day she made a statement about him, saying that she thought he was underweight. I was really surprised by this, since he isn't. Sure, he's skinny, but I really don't believe he was underweight. Anyone comparing him with other people at say a university wouldn't think that. How would he compare with me when I reach goal? I have to say, I have no idea. It's been so long since I've been at goal, I just can't remember that much about how I looked. Anyway, so I have been thinking about what happens if she accuses me of being underweight in the future? It's a possibility.
I hope she doesn't because I'll feel insulted if she does. I don't know if that is an over reaction on my part, but if she does, I almost certainly will move to another desk so I don't have to be next to her. I guess that it's a sensitive issue for me because someone is making a judgement about me which is wrong and also of course I don't like. I've been having weight problems for the last 16 years and if she makes a decision about what weight I should or shouldn't be just makes me feel really annoyed. Losing weight is hard work, and for her to make that statement debases that hard work. She has no medical background, her judgement is based on her own experiences and environment. I have been skinny for the first 25 years of my life, no doctor told me that they were concerned about my health due to that, and I have had a few relationships at that weight, where women have found me attractive and wanted to see me naked, neither of those women made any comment about my weight.
I also need to stop drawing attention to myself at work, in regards being on a diet. People are asking how I'm going with it, which in itself is fine, but I need to not show people the level of protein I'm having, since maybe they'll be making judgement comments in six months. This is an easy problem to solve, I'll just have protein in the car just before and after work, with one or two times during work.
This is an interesting angle to an overall age-old general situation, in my humble opinion. I don't think it is any fairer for someone to make a judgment about whether or not someone is overweight as to underweight. Too tall, too short, too white, too black....it all needs to stop. But it won't. Because human nature is to constantly feel in competition with ourselves, and when we can't handle the spotlight on our own insecurities, we have to turn the spotlight on others to make ourselves feel better. I think it is wrong for you to have to alter your behavior because of what someone else may or may not be thinking. But there I go, making a judgment. ;-) So in the end, do what feels right for you.
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